I'm no Sonic fan, as demonstrated by these notes I took as I attempted to play Sonic Generations
for the Nintendo 3DS:
- I simply cannot go without mentioning this irritating thing on Green Hill, Act II: I can't get past the level's very last obstacle, the giant falling totem pole. Okay, so I'm supposed to press "Y"? Fast, slow? What does this game want of me? Hey, I'm a gamer! I don't need manuals or tutorials to figure things out! This, however, is simply ridiculous. This game does nothing to cater to series newcomers. For that matter, it's not much fun at all.
- Okay, seriously? Even after playing Green Hill, Act II about ten times or more, I still can't avoid that infernal enemy? I have gaming reflexes. Even when they kick on, there's simply no way to avoid it, except by having the level memorized. Is this what Sonic is all about?
- Control flaw: when I take Sonic into a sliding position, I can't simply lift my finger off of the down button to get out of it? Apparently, jumping is the only way to do that, and what if I go spiraling out of control into a pit of death?
- Starting on Mushroom Hill, Act I: enjoying the graphics, but still confused as to whether I'm meant to play the level 50 times in order to memorize it so I can flash through at hyper speeds, or take my time getting through molasses-slow portions such as that up-down lever...thing that I just encountered.
- Again with the whole "What speed is this meant to be played at?" question: so some kind of jump that I couldn't avoid just catapulted me over a huge mass of rings? So...can I go back for them, or am I on a schedule of some kind, or what?
- Sorry, I won't be playing that one again. Memorization is something you only do in school, against your will. If the only reason I have to return to something is to be humiliated again and again, I'm not doing it.
- Okay, on to Act II. Did that mushroom, completely innocent looking, just jump out of the ground and attack me? Seriously? There should be a "Video Game Designing Code" that prohibits the abuse of players or something.
- I beat Metal Sonic! ...With, what, maybe 10 presses of the "A" button? How can one expect to get invested in this game?
- Fighting Big Arm has been the best part of this game so far. It...it...it actually employed my brain!
- Whoa, Sonic's got cool moves...it's just too bad I'm not even doing anything to pull them off except tiring my thumb out by endlessly holding the D-pad.
As you can see, I have yet to be impressed by a Sonic game, and I'm rapidly losing the desire to like him at all. Sonic Generations
was frankly insulting to me. On the user profile, it asks what Sonic game your favorite is, which was like a slap in the face. Maybe it doesn't seem this way to people who're familiar with the series, but Sonic Generations
just seemed to be, I dunno, full of itself or something like that.
